10 approaches, 1 number.

Snowfall / sludgy sidewalks. A running nose and sore throat. Sore legs after yesterday’s leg workout. Inadequate gloves and frozen hands. Horny as hell with a perpetual boner. This made up the background music as I did my approaches. Still did my 10, got one weak number. And now to reward myself with a movie and soup.

If there is one benefit to this, it is that it forces me to practice staying calm in situations that can otherwise easily blow my fuse. Even if it takes weeks for me to get laid, if I can succeed at tolerating the external reality peacefully and unemotionally, I will be proud of what I have achieved. Right now, I am often reactive to things outside my influence, even if it is a brief shrug or curse word. It is so easy to say: “don’t be reactive”, “only concern yourself with things in your sphere of influence”. Much, much harder to walk the walk...

2 approaches.

Walked for 2 hours in the brisk cold, but was just out of it - tired, sleepy, low energy. I also feel a sore throat coming, hopefully not the flu. No reward today. I’ll just have to sleep and hope for the best.

10 approaches, 1 number.

As you can probably tell, I have been getting despondent about the whole affair of approaching and gaming in general. Before I truly give in to what I wrote on 12/12, I want to try one last thing.

I got this idea from a book I am currently reading called Principles by Ray Dalio. In one of the paragraphs, he briefly talks about how to cultivate habits. There are three parts which make up something called the habit loop: the cue, the routine, and the reward. Google it for details.

This made me realize that I am not giving myself a reward for doing 10 approaches a day. So, not only am I going through the pain of approaching and getting rejected, but I am also coming home and not rewarding myself. This is probably why I am sulking.

So, what reward can I give myself? Well, the days I don’t approach, I work on side projects, read a book, or watch a tv show. I...

After taking a step back from game for a week, I have reached the conclusion that my commitment of doing 10 approaches / day and 20 / approaches a day on weekends is not the way to move forward.

As Einstein once said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” One could argue that it is a matter of time and then it will just “click”, just keep doing it. I entertained the same belief for a long time, so I kept going on and on and on… But, I have accepted that I am not mature enough nor mentally strong enough to cope with the pain that this approach brings.

When I think about how I have developed other skills, I didn’t necessarily do them every single day. Nor did I make things so hard for myself in the very beginning that I got frustrated and gave up. I started small and slowly set the bar higher and higher. Sometimes I just slept in or watched a...

0 approaches.

Need to some days off and not think about game, girls, etc. I am not enjoying the process I am currently following. Something is not sitting right. Hopefully not thinking about it for a few days will clear my head.

1 approach.

I don’t know what got into me today. The rain didn’t help. General lack of success is making me question whether all this toil is worth it. But therein lies the problem. I shouldn’t see game as toil. Game should be the icing to my day, albeit a compulsory one. I should treat it like a workout. No questions asked, just put in the hour. If I am treating it like anything more, then that means I am neglecting more important goals. The frustrating thing is that unlike hitting the gym, which gives predictable gains with time, I can game for weeks with zero signs of progress. This aspect of game bothers me immensely and some days just consumes me entirely. I can’t let this negativity get to me. Just gonna sleep it off.

4 approaches.

Stepped out for an hour but was not focused on game at all. Preoccupied with work; tomorrow is an important day. A non-zero showing, though!

11 approaches.

About the same spit as yesterday as far as approach effectiveness.

I am jaded by how hard this is. I am disconcerted by the thought that this is harder for me than other guys. My ego does not want to confront that possibility. But that is just my mind playing tricks. Truth is, I have no clue how hard this is supposed to be. There is no data on how long it takes for a male 7 to seduce a female 7+ consistently with daygame. There is so much noise if one were to attempt to determine this because of all the variables at play: upbringing (virgin till 24, enough said), supplement with online dating (I do zero), geo location, supplement with social circles (I have zero), fudging self-reported data. Classic information asymmetry at play.

I am reaching the conclusion that I need to stop caring about game as much as I do, but still continue to take action. My personality is such...

28 approaches, 2 numbers.

10 approaches were solid front stops. 9 approaches the girl walked around me but then stopped and looked back. 9 approaches, the girl walked around and didn’t acknowledge me. 2 / 9 times, girl was on the phone.

Day started off with me feeling lonely as I was confronting the challenge ahead with no one by my side. But, loneliness is inevitable. Having wings is just a temporary remedy, like a pain killer. I just need to accept it and focus on the craft. Loneliness creeps in when I am not engaged. The key is to get engaged and stay engaged. Approaching is the only long-term remedy.

After about 15 approaches with zero success, I felt defeated. Pre-approach, I was afraid, hesitant, doubtful. Post-approach, I was seeking a positive reaction to validate my approach. Since ~100% of my approaches don’t go anywhere anyways, I can do away with seeking a positive...

3 approaches.

I stupidly procrastinated till 10pm on a Friday to do my approaches. I feel especially lonely gaming on Friday nights because everyone seems to be having a hell of a time with their friends and significant others. Being a solo gamer and introverted in general, seeing this doesn’t help my vibe much. It takes considerable more effort to not let this get to my head and to find hot girls walking alone. Since I will not approach anyone below a 7, I could only approach 3 and all of them were on their way somewhere. I did get AA on 2 other girls who were standing at street corners. Standing sets are still outside my comfort zone… I have so much to learn. Note to self: On Fridays, approach before 7pm. Take a longer lunch break if I have to. It is a cheat code to feeling less alone and to also have more targets.

Today and yesterday have been lackluster to say the least. I feel...