10 approaches.

Nothing really stuck, but that is okay. Everyone was in a shopping frenzy, ambulances and police cars served as the background music, and it was chilly, so I was glad to be done and enter the warmth of my apartment.

When expectations are nil, anything is okay. I could reflect on sets immediately afterwards in a detached sort of way. Because, an approach regardless of how it goes counts all the same now. Might as well try to make it as entertaining for myself as possible. I can either end the interaction on a high or end the interaction with indifference. A negative ending is not a possibility when I have no expectations.

One thing I did well: stayed calm and detached throughout. Even laughed to myself when unexpected shit happened that prevented me from approaching - boyfriend joins girl out of nowhere, girl entered shop and vanished, girl randomly starts running. Like...

10 approaches.

After a turbulent few days, I am finding it easier to cope by accepting that, for whatever reason, I suck at game. And it will be a long, unforgiving, ordeal ahead. Results will not be guaranteed ever. There is no use comparing myself to others; I am the slowest of the pack. This realization has, oddly, made me more at peace and more productive… at least for last 24 hours.

Now that I have admitted that, I have also decided that game is going to be a sisyphian pursuit for me. The Myth of Sisyphus made a strong impression on me when I read it a few years back. That is the mentality I have decided to adopt. 1-2 hours a day, I will push this rock that is game up the hill, fully acknowledging that it will roll back down the next day. This approach, no pun intended, of zero optimism, zero hope, and zero expectation is a walk in the park compared to the emotional turbulence and...

10 approaches.

Another day of failure. By approach 8, I just wanted to do two more for namesake and head home. Don’t even want to write about how deplorable I have gotten at this. I have gone backwards. I can’t be too aggressive. I can’t be too chill. It is obvious to the girl that I am putting on a mask. Nothing is working. I don’t want to be frustrated, but it is hard not to be.

Now, I am going into damage control mode. If I am going to be failing at this, I at least want to do it in a way where I can still enjoy the rest of my day / hobbies. Right now game fucks with me too much. My emotional investment is beyond the approach window. I need to deal with my emotions better, so the pain from being in the field doesn’t seep through to the rest of my day. My negativity and anger need to be balanced out with happiness from other things, so each day is absolutely fresh. But this isn’t...

2.5 hours, 3 numbers.

Not sure how many approaches I did; I lost count. Definitely more than 10. I amended my investment strategy so that it is time-based rather than approach-based. In my barbaric mood for last two days, I can clear 10 approaches during rush hour pretty fast.

Numbers were weak; I was pushing for i-date but they were all busy. I didn’t bother trying hard after the i-date possibility was lost, but I got the number anyways. With holidays in between, the attraction will probably fizzle out, but you never know.

While I can feel myself giving less and less of a shit, I still think there is room for me to care even less. I chickened out of some approaches due to spotlight. I still harbor doubt that a coworker might see me and judge me. Or what a girl will think if I approach her twice by mistake. All these limiting beliefs need to be squashed. Only then I will be...

10 approaches, 2 numbers.

Today was a drastic improvement. My approaches had a force to them which I cannot explain in words. Most of my approaches led to a 1-2 minute interaction. Girls did not walk around me. Numbers are great, but today I felt truly acknowledged, and that is what makes me happy.

In these 1-2 minutes, I did not hold back. Sometimes I spoke over them; one girl was super politely telling me that she is seeing someone, and I cut her off saying, “You must work in PR. You are being so politically correct and formal.” I told another girl with boyfriend of two years that “sex must be pretty boring.” To another girl, I said, “you’re cute. lets get a drink right now.” I even ended the day approaching a two set of 7s and just gave them a compliment.

Spotlight and approach anxiety were secondary concerns. When I saw a girl, I simply had to approach her like I was going to...

18 approaches.

I broke a multi-week streak of self-control by losing it today. Perhaps it was because of the energy I regained after beating the flu. However horny I was feeling while I was sick, now I am feeling it twice as much.

18 approaches went absolutely nowhere - not even a decent interaction. This coupled with my pent up aggression and blue balls => I just couldn’t take it. I punched the phone booths and fences as I walked home. I also punched myself in the face. The physical pain temporarily distracted me from the emotional pain, which was far greater. When the physical pain subsided, I brought it back. I carried this on for three or four iterations. Luckily, I controlled the urge to chuck my phone away.

Then I saw my wrist swollen and bleeding. What a nutcase I must be to do this to myself over girls. If my friends or family read this, they would be shocked; I am the guy in...

10 approaches.

I woke up even more sick than yesterday. Worst part is that I can’t hit the gym or go on a run to feel better. I also feel weak, slow, and unproductive. Add to that my blue balls and rejection after rejection. The silver lining is that this tests my mentality to the max. Do I focus on my sickness, largely out of my control, and let that drive me into rage? Or do I simply try my best to accept it and focus on the task at hand.

Not going to lie – after each rejection today, I was more disturbed than usual. There was nothing special about the rejection itself. It is the combination of crap that I have to deal with that pushed me over the edge momentarily. The disturbance subsided after a minute as I willed myself back into a state of acceptance. The mind is a muscle, like anything else, and today I lifted a bit more weight than I am accustomed to. That is how a muscle...

~15 approaches, 1 i-date which started well but went to shit.

Still a bit sick, but on the upswing. Should be close to 100% after a night’s rest, fingers crossed. My relaxed vibe continued into today - walking slower, talking slower, holding eye contact, much more grounded and my mind is not racing all over the place. I am overall happy with my mental progress.

My approach anxiety / spotlight has diminished considerably. However, my interactions are lacking spark. Most are mediocre. None are either horribly bad or amazingly good. I need to be more polarizing. I am so horny that I am afraid to display it. I am holding it back, afraid that revealing my barbaric side will ruin the set. I need to let go and let loose.

I opened a tall leggy blonde HB 7 who had just stepped out of her apartment in tight leggings.

Me: I love your giraffe-like legs.
Her: Yea, these leggings are great.
Me...

15 approaches.

Not as sick today. Better weather from yesterday. Met up with another day gamer from the Roosh V forums and we winged each other and bonded over day game for a couple hours. He’s a good guy and we got along. We plan to meet again on a once-a-week cadence. Being an introvert, it is easy for me to not socialize for weeks at a time. I need to make a concerted effort to meet others who are in the same journey as me. I am going to start doing this with game: find a couple guys whom I can meet up with once a week, and solo the rest of the time. If that doesn’t fill my social tank, I will reach out in a similar fashion in my others areas of interest. This will keep a healthy balance going, which is crucial for a positive mental state.

My approaches today were more relaxed. AA and spotlight varied throughout the day. Even though I didn’t get any numbers or interactions, girls...