12/18

10 approaches.

I woke up even more sick than yesterday. Worst part is that I can’t hit the gym or go on a run to feel better. I also feel weak, slow, and unproductive. Add to that my blue balls and rejection after rejection. The silver lining is that this tests my mentality to the max. Do I focus on my sickness, largely out of my control, and let that drive me into rage? Or do I simply try my best to accept it and focus on the task at hand.

Not going to lie – after each rejection today, I was more disturbed than usual. There was nothing special about the rejection itself. It is the combination of crap that I have to deal with that pushed me over the edge momentarily. The disturbance subsided after a minute as I willed myself back into a state of acceptance. The mind is a muscle, like anything else, and today I lifted a bit more weight than I am accustomed to. That is how a muscle grows.

In the last month, I am happy with the progress I have made in keeping my mind at bay and not getting overly-emotional about external circumstances. But there is a long way to go; in fact, as long as I keep upping the ante, I will always have to confront my emotions. Even if it takes me another month to bang a 7+, the rewards of building the emotional toughness will make the effort worth it. Moreover, the emotional toughness pays dividends well after the sex. It serves as the foundation for continuous improvement, not only in game, but also in all my pursuits.

I am going to try to sleep for 12 hours tonight and beat this thing.